I Wanna Be Bad!
by Aithril the Elf-Maiden
Summary: Kita, Aithril's yami, bets that Aithril couldn't be evil if she tried. To prove her wrong, Aithril enlists the help of the top three bad guys of the YuGiOh! Cast: Yami Bakura, Marik, and Pegasus.
1. I Wanna Be Bad

oos: I dunno if this story will go any further than a few chapters, but I'll try.  
  
I got this random idea from a discussion my best friend, Kita, and I had this morning. We always tease each other about how we're like each other's half of a whole soul. She's the yami because she is SO UTTERLY EVIL!!!!!!!!!! You have NO IDEA of the evilness! Once, Kita was being teased by this annoying boy at school as we were walking down the hallway to go outside, get on the bus, and go home. He kept tripping her and she was slowly, but surely becoming pissed off. I recognized her warning signs and let her have a few more feet (about 20) of personal space. The guy, however, either was too stupid to notice or too stupid to care.  
  
Then he tripped her so hard that she almost fell. Kita whirled around and raised her backpack like she was going to sock him. Everyone else in the hallway had been watching and they froze in anticipation. You could literally feel the waves of power/anger/fury radiating out from her and I myself backed up a few steps even though I wasn't the target of her frustration.  
  
The idiot cringed! It was so perfect that I almost laughed at him then and there. He was crouching down on the ground in fear with his eyes squeezed shut! I could almost hear him praying, "GOD DON'T LET THIS PSYCHO GIRL KILL ME, GOD DON'T LET THIS PSYCHO GIRL KILL ME!"  
  
Finally, Kita carefully and deliberately lowered her backpack, as if regaining her temper. She swung it back over her left shoulder and began walking down the hall. The crowd that had been surrounding us parted for her like the Red Sea for Moses and I almost followed in her wake. Then I saw the guy still down on the ground and smiled. I wasn't as evil as her, but anyone who messed with my yami deserved what they got.  
  
I waited patiently until the guy opened one eye. He seemed to realize the wild amazon-warrior girl of his nightmares had departed and opened both eyes. The boy seemed to further realize he had a crowd of his peers viewing his humiliation for their own pleasure. He opened his mouth, unsure what to say. Then, regaining his attitude, the guy quickly straightened to his full height and belted out "HA!" like he had won.  
  
I laughed the whole way home, bus ride included.  
  
Anyway, the point of that long and somewhat-unecessary story was that Kita is evil.  
  
I, unfortunately, am not. I'm Kita's hikari, Aithril. I really, really want to be evil, but I'm just not. (I can't even laugh evilly.) So, I've decided to write this story in which Marik, Yami Bakura, and Pegasus attempt to teach me the ways of evilness. All three of them are enough to drive anyone evil (or at least insane). Right?  
  
Also, the first sentence is from Liz's story Yami in Blue's Clues Land which is the BEST STORY I HAVE EVER READ! YOU ROCK LIZ!  
  
(clears throat) Anyway.... on with the fic!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything dealing with Yu-Gi-Oh!. All I have is myself, and K-.... (recieves evil glare from Kita) (sweatdrop)(giggles nervously) hehehe, I mean, Kita owns herself.  
  
Kita: (growls)  
  
Key: (....)=actions :__=speaking *.....* = private thoughts /..../ = hikari to yami //.....// = yami to hikari  
  
I Wanna Be Bad!  
  
Aithril: LALALALALALALA (skips through flowers)  
  
Marik: (is revolted) That's disturbing.  
  
Aithril: Aww, thank you! Cute wittle Mawik, you!  
  
Marik: -_-U Yeah....  
  
Aithril: (suddenly stiffens and stares blankly ahead)  
  
Marik: Um, Aithril?  
  
Aithril: (is silent)  
  
Marik: Aithril? Are you-  
  
Voice: I am no longer Aithril! I couldn't take those revolting flowers and screechy singing anymore!  
  
Marik: Oh, it's you! (grows angry) Give me back my Millenium Rod, Kita!  
  
Kita: Lemme think for a minute..... NO! (Aithril feels weird twinge of a feeling, but ignores it)  
  
Marik: Oh yeah?  
  
Kita: Yeah!  
  
Marik: If you don't give it back right now, I'll, I'll-  
  
Kita: You'll do what? Hit me if some psychic blasts? I'm terrified! I think I just wet myself!  
  
Aithril:/You wet us? These are my favorite underwear!/  
  
Kita: (misunderstands) //MY FAVORITE UNDERWEAR? The ones with that evil cat on them?//  
  
Aithril: /No, my Boots underwear!/  
  
Kita: //Boots? Who is this Boots? When did you start seeing him and why didn't you tell me?// (is quietly angry, and a little hurt)  
  
Aithril: (senses hurt)/ No, yami, Boots is a character on Dora the -/  
  
Kita: //I told you not to say the name of that show in front of me!//  
  
Aithril: /But we're always together./  
  
Kita: //I know. That's why I said that.//  
  
Aithril: /Oh..... T_T/  
  
Kita: //Wait a minute, you baka! I didn't really wet us!//  
  
Aithril: /Oh./ (feels Kita roll her eyes) /Thanks god!/  
  
Kita: //Oh shut up and let me talk to Marik!//  
  
Aithril: /I know you love me deep down too, Kita./  
  
Kita: (gruffy) //Yeah, sure, whatever.... back to Marik...//  
  
Marik: But- (starts sniffing) T_T  
  
Kita: Mwahahhahaha! (perfect evil laugh)  
  
Aithril: /Kita, that's not nice! You should give Marik back his Millenium Item!/  
  
Kita: //That wouldn't be very evil, now would it?//  
  
Aithril: (thinks for a minute)/No, I suppose not./  
  
Kita: //You don't have an evil bone in your body.//  
  
Aithril: (fumes)/ I bet I do somewhere!/  
  
Kita: (starts to laugh) //Hahahha, you couldn't be evil if you tried!//  
  
Aithril: (gets an idea) /I could too! And I'll prove it! Let me take over!/  
  
Kita: //Fine, only because I gotta see this!// (Retreats into her soul room, still chuckling)  
  
Aithril: Hmph! (takes control) (sees Marik eyeing her) What?!  
  
Marik: (suspiciously) Are you Aithril or Kita? *I honestly can't tell sometimes*  
  
Aithril: Aithril! Duh! (pauses) I mean, of course it's me, Aithril. How charmingly silly of you Marik! And, my, aren't you looking handsome today!  
  
Marik: (looks alarmed) Even YOU aren't that nice. (suspicious again) What do you want from me?  
  
Aithril: Okineedlessonsonhowtobebadbecauseibetmyyamithaticouldbeevilbutidunnohowand-  
  
Marik: (holds up hands) Slow down tiger!  
  
Aithril: (sweatdrop)  
  
Marik: Come again? And slowly please....  
  
Aithril: Ok, I need lessons on how to be bad because I bet my yami-  
  
, now it's a bet, is it? I BET $50.00 THAT YOU CAN'T BE BAD!//  
  
Aithril: (continues) that I could be bad. But I dunno how and she just bet $50.00 that I can't! Hold on a minute!  
  
Aithril:/You don't have $50.00!/  
  
Kita: //Oh yeah... well, of your money!//  
  
Aithril: /You can't do that!/  
  
Kita: // I am an all powerful yami! Of course I can!//  
  
Aithril: /No you can't! It's against NBR!/  
  
Kita: (reads her mind) //National Betting Rules?//  
  
Aithril (sheepishly) /Yes./  
  
Kita: (snorts) /Patheitc./  
  
Aithril: (ignores) So, will you teach me?  
  
Marik: I don't know. You don't seem to be the evil type.  
  
Aithril: (puppy eyes) PWEASE? I WANNA BE BAD! JUST WIKE YOU!  
  
Marik: Hmm... I can't blame anyone for wanting to be evil like me! (nods, smiling very 'modestly)  
  
Aithril: (mentally rolling eyes) Of course! I want to be the evilest I can be!  
  
Marik: (pulls out cell phone) I think I'll need back up. (quickly pushes number and waits while the phone rings)  
  
Ryou: (picks up phone) (Bakura is sleeping in his soul room) Hello?  
  
Marik: Yo, Ryou, pass the control to Bakura.  
  
Ryou: -_-U He's asleep, I don't think that's such a-  
  
Marik: NOW, Ryou!  
  
Ryou: O_O o-ok, here he is.  
  
Marik: Thanks.  
  
Ryou: (runs into soul room) /Bakura!/  
  
Bakura: (wakes with a start and growls) //What is it? Didn't I tell you not to wake me until it's time for our doctor's appointment?//  
  
Ryou:/We have a doctor's appointment?/  
  
Bakura: //Yes, for- umm..... the... small problem we have.....//  
  
Ryou: O_O! /NEVER MIND!/  
  
Bakura: (growing angry)// So, why are you here, Ryou?// (in strained and checked voice)  
  
Ryou: (blinks)/ I forget..... /(scratches head)  
  
Bakura: (smacks forehead and explodes) //WHY ARE YOU HERE DAMNIT?!//  
  
Ryou: (remembers under pressure) /Oh! Marik's on the phone and-/  
  
Bakura: (pushes Ryou into his own soul room and himself into their body, cutting him off) Hello?  
  
Marik: It's about time.  
  
Bakura: Ryou couldn't remember why he woke me up.  
  
Marik: -_-U (mutters) Why am I not surprised?  
  
Bakura: (dangerously) What was that?!  
  
Marik: O_O Nothing, of course.  
  
Bakura: It better not have been anything about my hikari! NO ONE MAKES FUN OF MY AIBOU BUT ME!  
  
Ryou: (in Bakura's mind) /You really care!/  
  
Bakura: SHUT YOUR FACE, YOU IDIOT! (forgets he's speaking into the phone and not in his and Ryou's minds)  
  
Marik: What did you say, you albino?!  
  
Bakura: I was talking to Ryou!  
  
Aithril: (thinks how weird this conversation has been going so far and wonders if there are any pineapples or pixi sticks in the kitchen)  
  
Kita: //No!//  
  
Aithril: (jumps) /I wasn't talking to you!/  
  
Kita: //No, but you were thinking rather loudly.//  
  
Aithril: /Why aren't there any?/  
  
Kita: //I hid them from you!//  
  
Aithril: (cautiously ventures into soul room to access her memories and is stopped by an angry yami with her hands on her hips)  
  
Kita: //DON'T YOU DARE!//  
  
Aithril: O_O /I was... umm... I forgot my- my-/  
  
Kita: (in an equally dangerous voice as Bakura's) //Forgot your what?//  
  
Aithril: /My... ah, my air!/ (takes deep breath) /This is is my air and I left it in here!/  
  
Kita: -_-U //Right// (escorts out of soul room)  
  
Aithril: (is dragging heels) /No, I really did I-/ (is pushed back into her body) OW!  
  
Marik: (is staring at her as Bakura screams over the phone) Why are you screaming?  
  
Aithril: (thinks fast) Uhhhh, menstrual cramps? (sweatdrop)  
  
Marik: (is disgusted) Ew.  
  
Kita: //That is so wrong.//  
  
Aithril: (backs up) I think I'll go get some Alieve...  
  
Marik: You do that. Don't be in too much pain now. (sarcastically)  
  
Aithril: (waves hand over shoulder) I won't! Count on me!  
  
Marik: (murmurs) Sorry, I only count one idiot......  
  
oos: So? You like? Please review. I don't think this is my best story, but it's so funny! I think. Lol, it's funny to me anyway. I hope you like it. If you do, click the review button down there and say so! Thanks. 


	2. Dress the Dress

oos: And here's another chappie of I Wanna Be Bad! Guess what the theme song is? HIT IT KITA:  
  
Aithril: (throw microphone at kita)  
  
Kita: (catches with one hand and chucks back at Aithril)  
  
Aithril: AHHHHHH! (ducks)  
  
Kita: Damn.  
  
Aithril: Fine, I'll sing it! (clears throat) I wanna be bad!  
  
.....  
  
Kita: And?  
  
Aithril: That's all I know!  
  
Kita: -_-U Enjoy the ficcy.  
  
Aithril: BTW, make sure to eat your vegetables, not play with matches, and stay away from Kita! All are vital to good hel-  
  
Kita: (approaches with butcher knife)  
  
Aithril: RUN!  
  
Dress the Dress  
  
Aithril: (returns) I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!  
  
Marik: (mouths: joy) (To Bakura) So, are you coming over?  
  
Bakura: Yes, I'll be there in a minute.  
  
Marik: Ok. Ciao.  
  
Bakura: Peace out.  
  
Marik: O_O Freakish.  
  
Aithril: What?  
  
Marik: Oh, nothing.....  
  
Aithril: Is Bakura coming to help me be evil?  
  
Marik: Yeah, he'll be over.... oh hi Bakura.  
  
Bakura: (enters Athril's house) Hi. (looks at Aithril) (starts to laugh)  
  
Aithril: What?!  
  
Bakura: You're too good. You'll never be evil.  
  
Aithril: I CAN IF I WANT TO!  
  
Bakura; Nu-uh!  
  
Aithril: Yuh-huh!  
  
Bakura: Trust me! You're doomed to be a goody goody for the rest of your days!  
  
Kita: (laughing hysterically in her soul room)  
  
Aithril: T_T I can be bad if I want too! And I do! SO THERE! (kicks Bakura in the shin)  
  
Bakura: OW DAMNIT! (hops around clutching shin) That hurt!  
  
Aithril: HA!  
  
Marik: (sweatdrop) We'll work on the evil laugh later. Right now I think we should dress you for success.  
  
Aithril: I have to wear a skirt?  
  
Bakura: Hell no! (shudders) That's not bad at all.  
  
Marik: How about ripped jeans?  
  
Bakura: And a backwards hat?  
  
Marik: And unlaced shoes?  
  
Bakura: And a low top?  
  
Aithril and Bakura: ................. O_OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU (stare at Bakura)  
  
Bakura: What?  
  
Aithril: (mutters) Pervert. (regular voice) Okies! I'll be right back! (skips upstairs singing at the top of her lungs)  
  
Marik: Ok, note to self: work on talk the talk and walk the walk!  
  
Bakura: Definitely.  
  
Marik: That was the gayest walk I've ever seen!  
  
Bakura: How can she be gay?! She was walking like a girl! Just a real girl, that's all.  
  
Marik: Oh, so now you're the expert? What is a real girl suppoed to walk like anyway?  
  
Bakura: Number 1: Yes, I am the expert. Number 2: I've had 5,000 years of watching girls walk. I should know.  
  
Marik: (sweatdrop) Uh-huh....  
  
Bakura: Real girls should.... umm, they just have a walk. They swing their hips and crap.  
  
Marik: (swings hips skeptically) They do not do this!  
  
Bakura: No, not like that! Like, side to side! (demonstrates)  
  
Marik: Oh, like this! (swings hips and demonstrates as Aithril comes back)  
  
Aithril: O_O  
  
Kita: O_O  
  
Ryou: O_O  
  
Marik and Bakura: O_OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU  
  
Aithril: ............................ is there something I should know about you, Bakura? Marik?  
  
Bakura: I- I can explain!  
  
Marik: Me too!  
  
Aithril: The sad part is.... I don't wanna know. Anyway, how do I look? (is dressed in black cargo pants, pink top with bad girl written across front in black letters and chains dangling from pockets of pants) I couldn't find any jeans. And Kita loaned me the top.  
  
Kita: //Don't get anything on it! It's one of my favorites!//  
  
Aithril: -_-U /Okay, okay! Calm down!/  
  
Marik: (studying her) Pretty good.  
  
Bakura: Damn hot! (Marik and Aithril stare) (sweatdrop) Hehehe, did I say that outloud? (laughs nervously)  
  
Marik: (nod nod)  
  
Aithril: O_OU I'll ignore that.  
  
Bakura: Excellent idea. (checks watch) I have to go to.  
  
Marik: (forgets) Go where?!  
  
Bakura: Ryou and I have an appointment at the doctors.  
  
Aithril: (concerned) Aww, what's wrong?  
  
Bakura: (blushing) Nothing, j-just an ordinary check-up.  
  
Marik: (eyes Bakura skeptically) Right.  
  
Aithril: Wait! I look bad. Now what?  
  
Bakura: Tell ya what: I'll be here same time tomorrow.  
  
Marik: (grudgingly) Me too, I guess.  
  
Aithril: AWWWWW, THANKIES! (hugs both of them)  
  
Marik and Bakura: O_OUUUUUUUUU  
  
Kita: //I can't take this crap anymore!// (pushes Aithril back into soul room)  
  
Kita: (releases the two of them) (wipes off arms) YUCK YUCK YUCK!  
  
Bakura: (sarcastically) Kita, how nice of you to join us.  
  
Kita: (nods curtly to Bakura) Tomb Robber. (To both of them) Leave- NOW!  
  
Marik: -_- Fine. (stomps out)  
  
Bakura: (shouts from a block away) ALREADY LEFT!  
  
Kita: (twitches and grits teeth) (let's Aithril take control)  
  
Aithril: (waves) Bye bye!  
  
Kita: //You are SO loosing $50.00//  
  
Aithril: /I am not! You don't have $50.00./  
  
Kita: (about to speak)  
  
Aithril: /No, you may NOT borrow my money!/ *I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BAKA YAMI!*  
  
Kita: (shuts mouth and glares. Opens again) //I heard that.//  
  
Aithril: (innocently) /Heard what?/  
  
Kita: (imitates in high-pitched voice) // I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BAKA YAMI!//  
  
Aithril: (gulps) /I didn't say that....../  
  
Kita: //But you were thinking it....//  
  
Aithril: (whispers) /You're freaky. You really DO read my mind!/  
  
Kita: (rolls eyes)  
  
Aithril walks downstairs and hears her family walk in: her mom, dad, and sister have arrived.  
  
Aithril: Hey, mom.  
  
Mom: Hi. (turns to sister) Go eat some yogurt.  
  
Sister: Okay! (runs for yogurt)  
  
Dad: (escapes to relative sanity of master bedroom)  
  
Aithril: (escapes to relative insanity of her room) /Whew. That was even more freaky./  
  
Kita: //I must agree. Your family is the weirdest family I've ever met. (pauses) Wait, I haven't met many families......//  
  
Aithril: -_- /Right. I have to study./  
  
Aithril sits at desk and gets out her history notes. She scans the lines, repeating bits of information to herself.  
  
Kita: //Hey, Aithril?//  
  
Aithril: (irritated) /What?/  
  
Kita: //Can't we do something else?//  
  
Aithril: /No, I have to study for the history exam on Monday. Otherwise I'll get an F./  
  
Kita: (eagerly) //For fantastic?!//  
  
Aithril: -_-U /No, for FAILED! Let me study!/  
  
Kita: //Fine. See if I care.//  
  
**Ten Minutes Later**  
  
Kita: //Aithril?//  
  
Aithril: /WHAT?!/  
  
Kita: //I'm hungry.//  
  
Aithril: /You don't get hungry. You're a 5,000 year old spirit!/  
  
Kita: (thinks to self) //Oh yeah.... well, let's do something else.//  
  
Aithril: /NO! I have to study!/  
  
Kita: (manages to take possession of one hand) (possessed hand clutches wall and pulls Aithril's resisting body out of chair)  
  
Aithril: /No!/ (grips edge of desk as her possessed hand drags her toward the door)  
  
Kita: //YES! MWAHHAHAHAHA!//  
  
Possessed hand: (drags Aithirl and desk toward door)  
  
Aithril's hand: (is beginning to weaken)  
  
Kita: //You cannot resist for much longer! I am stronger! MWHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!//  
  
Aithril: /Ok, yami! I give up!/ (lets go of desk) (is shoved into her soul room by Kita)  
  
Aithril: /Ow.../ (Watches through Kita's eyes as her aibou walks downstairs) (slowly falls asleep)  
  
** Twelve Hours Later**  
  
Aithril slowly wakes up the next morning fully clothed. She swings her legs over the side of the bed and skips downstairs to breakfast. But no one else is up! Aithril frowns. *That's strange....* she thinks, but shrugs and opens the door for the newspaper. She picks it up and tosses it on the table.  
  
Aithril gets out some cereal and pours in it a bowl. She adds milk, sits down, and opens the newspaper.  
  
Her mouth dropped wide open as she took in the front page. She couldn't beleive it! It was.....  
  
oos:  
  
Kita: Oh, she left you an evil cliffhanger! Mwahahha!  
  
Aithril: (is locked in soul room)  
  
Kita: Yuppers, she's in there! ^_^ And I won't let her out unless you review.... so REVIEW! 


	3. Seducing Policemen

oos:  
  
Kita: Aibou! Come out and write the next chapter!  
  
Aithril: (drags self out) (sniffing and crying uncontrollably)  
  
Kita: O_o Aibou?! What's wrong with you?  
  
Aithril: (sobbing loudly) There's only - there's only one review! (bursts into fresh tears)  
  
Kita: (pats Aithril gingerly on the back) There, there. I'll force- erm, imply them to review. You just go get some sleep.  
  
Aithril: (hiccups from so much crying) Thanks, yami. (trots off to soul room)  
  
Kita: Now, I didn't want to do this in front of my innocent aibou, but- (pulls out long, shiny butcher's knife) REVIEW OR I'LL SEND YOU TO HELL!  
  
Aithril: (hears from her soul room) -_-U What did you say, Kita?  
  
Kita: (hides butcher knife although Aithirl is not in room) Just that the reviewers should review or I'll- I'll-  
  
Aithril: (dangerously) You'll do what?  
  
Kita: (mutters) She's so damn protective of you reviewers (normal tone) or I'll ring a loud bell.  
  
Aithril: Uh-huh....  
  
Kita: (innocently) Go back to sleep, hikari.  
  
Aithril: (folds arms) I don't trust you.  
  
Kita: Why wouldn't you?  
  
Aithril: -_- Jeez, because you threaten the reviewers with long, sharp, and shiny butcher knives, lie to me,-  
  
Kita: (not listening) This list goes on and on, folks. Just review already! Now on with the story!  
  
Seducing Policemen  
  
Aithril was staring at a paper with a color picture on it of- HER! She was leaping through the freshly-broken glass window of a bar and appeared to be cackling madly! Or at least, it was someone who looked like her.  
  
She looked at her arms and noticed for the first time some long cuts that looked like they had freshly been made with a knife.  
  
Aithril: Kita......  
  
Aithril entered her soul room and strode into Kita's.  
  
Aithril: /WAKE UP DAMNIT!/  
  
Kita: (blinks awake) //What's the hell's wrong?// (pauses) //Did you just say damnit?//  
  
Aithril:/ YES! WHAT THE HECK'S MY PICTURE DOING ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE NEWSPAPER?!/  
  
Kita: (sheepishly mumbles) //I dunno, aibou. Maybe it's someone el-//  
  
Aithril: /WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH MY BODY LAST NIGHT?!/  
  
Kita: (regaining her composure) //NOTHING!//  
  
Aithril: /THEN WHY IS MY PICTURE ON THE FRONT PAGE?/  
  
Kita: (growls dangerously) //And what if it is?//  
  
Aithril: (realizes who she's talking to) /Erm, ehehhehehhe...... I'll, uh, have you apologize!/  
  
Kita: (pins Aithril against wall) //Oh you will, will you?!//  
  
Aithril: (whispers) /......no./  
  
Kita: (releases)// Good. //  
  
Aithril: (on floor)/ Ow./  
  
Kita: //Now get the f*** out of my soul room!// (pushes her hikari out and slams door) (entire mind shakes)  
  
Aithril:/ Ow!/ (emerges back into her own body) Hmm... (looks down at paper)  
  
Aithril: (reads) Last night around midnight, a 14-year old girl got into a bar fight with a few of the town's local bikers. They fought as the bartender tried to call the police. By the time the police arrived, there were four dead bikers and the girl fleeing the scene, as shown in this picture.  
  
Aithril: 0_o I am so dead......  
  
Door: (knock)  
  
Aithril: (gets up and peers out of window)  
  
Voice: It's the police! OPEN UP!  
  
Aithril: 0_0 Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! (runs around like headless chicken)  
  
She heard her parents coming down the stairs and panicked. Aithril ran into the living room and dove behind the couch just in time. Her parents walked into the kitchen and she ran up the stairs and jumped into bed. Then, as if on second thought, she ripped off her clothes and pulled on a nightshirt. Aithril laid on the bed, but turned her ear to the vent in the floor where conversation is being held.  
  
Dad: Hmm, I must have left the milk and cereal out on the table... (eyes them curiously)  
  
Door: (opens)  
  
Mom: Why, hello officer. What can we do for you this fine morning?  
  
Police officer 1: (sweatdrop) Um, is your daughter around? We'd like to speak to her.  
  
Mom: (panicks) WHAT?! What happened to her? Is she ok? What did she do?  
  
Police officer 2: Several eye-witnesses report seeing her in a serious bar- fight last night where four men were killed.  
  
Mom: OH MY! OH MY!  
  
Dad: I'll go see if she's awake. (troops up to Aithril's room) (pokes head in room) Aithril?  
  
Aithril: (mumbles) Yes, daddy? (sits up, yawning) Why are you waking me up so early?  
  
Dad: Come downstairs, there's a nice man who would like to talk to you.  
  
Aithril: (laughs) Daddy, I'm too wittle for dating.  
  
Dad: (sweatdrop) No, honey, it's a friend. Come on downstairs.  
  
Aithril: (throws off covers) Daddy, I'm in my nightshirt.....  
  
Dad: (walks downstairs, calling back) Well, get dressed quickly.  
  
Aithril: (dresses in pink barbie dress)  
  
Kita: //What in the nine regions of hell is that shit you're wearing?!?//  
  
Aithril: /For this, I have to look innocent. Oh no! I almost forgot!/ (picks up phone beside her bed) (dials Marik's number)  
  
Marik's phone: RING! RING!  
  
Marik: (without opening eyes, picks up and puts to his ear) What the f*** do you want?  
  
Aithril: -_- Marik, it's me, Aithril. Kita got in a bar fight and I'm in a lot of trouble at the moment. Could you not come over to 3 or so? And call Bakura to tell him, too?  
  
Marik: (mumbling still) Yeah, sure, whatever.  
  
Aithril: Thanks!  
  
Marik: (silence) (click)  
  
Recorded Voice: If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again. Or, if you need help, dial your operator. Thank you.  
  
Aithril: (shrugs) I guess he had to go. (takes deep breath) Well, here goes nothing! (skips downstairs and into kitchen) Well, hello, police officer! You're my friend!  
  
Police officer 1: What the-.... this is Aithril?!?  
  
Dad: Yes, is there something wrong?  
  
Aithril: What's wrong, daddy? (peers around)  
  
Police officer 1: I think we have the wrong person...... (eyes barbie dress) I think my investigation is done here. (heads out to police car)  
  
Police officer 2: (peers suspiciously at Aithril) I dunno Bob... she could still be the murderer.  
  
Mom: NOT MY BABY!  
  
Aithril: I still don't get it, mommy. What's going- (slips) (falls on hand and scrapes it) WAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Mom: (pull's Aithril's hand to her mouth and pecks it, then rocks her child in her arm) NOOOOOO! IT'S OK, IT'S OK! MOMMY FEELS IT TOO!!!!! {from the elevator story, not mine. lol, it was just really hilarious, so I had to put it in}  
  
Aithril: (still sniffling) I'm ok, mommy. (holds up hand with nothing more than a small whitish scrape)  
  
Mom: Oh goody, honey. Never scare mommy like that ever again!  
  
Aithril: (happily) OKIES MUMSY!  
  
Police Officer 2 and Dad: (sweatdrop)  
  
Police Offricer 2: (still suspicous) I dunno........  
  
Aithril: /What else to I have to do to convince them I'm innocent?!/  
  
Kita: //I know!// (shoves Aithril into soul room and locks it) (jams key in pocket) //You're not going to like this one bit.....//  
  
Aithril: /Ow./ (lands on bed thankfully) /What are you going to do?!?/  
  
Kita: (smirks) You'll see....  
  
Kita: (takes control of Aithri's body) Police officer, why are you here anyway? (innocent smile) (pretends to perk up) Did you bring me chocolate, like on halloween? I love those huge hershey bars! They're sweet and nice and good-looking. Just like you, officer....  
  
Aithril: (mental sweatdrop)  
  
Kita: //It's gets a lot worse from here on, hikari.//  
  
Police Officer 2: Um, no. Could I ask you a few questions, ma'am?  
  
Kita: (purrs) Certainly, officer.  
  
Police Officer 2: (glances at Mom and Dad) Somewhere more private?  
  
Kita: (eyes widen) Really, officer?! I had no idea you felt that way! (Mom and Dad wander upstairs, talking and ignoring the conversation going on in the kitchen)  
  
Police Officer 2: 0_oU Um, no I don't. Never mind. (thinks) 'This girl is weirding me out....'(says) Aithril, how about we talk right here instead. So, what's your name?  
  
Kita: (giggles impishly) You just said it, silly!  
  
Police Officer 2: (rolls eyes) -_- Ok, how old are you?  
  
Kita: (in silky seductive voice) Oh, who cares about lil' old me. How old are you? I like older men........  
  
Police Officer 2: (near the limit of his weirdness scale) (decides to ignore) Ooooooooooook. (decides to find out if she is a typical teenager or not) So, what are you going to do this Saturday night?  
  
Kita: (flutters eyelashes) Depends. (licks lips) What are YOU doing this Saturday night?  
  
Police Officer 2: 0_oUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU  
  
Kita: ^_^  
  
Police Officer 2: You know what? I think I'll just let you off the hook this time.  
  
Kita: Really?!? How sweet of you! I suppose you could a present for that..... however I have no money, so I suppose this will have to do.... (puckers lips)  
  
Police Officer 2: (breaks) STAY AWAY FROM ME, YOU WHORE! (runs to police car, jumps in and speeds away)  
  
Kita: (calls after him) Don't break the speed limit! Hahahhahahhaa. (cackles evilly) (lets Aithril take control of her body again)  
  
Kita: //That was priceless!//  
  
Aithril could feel her yami rolling around in her soul room, crying with laughter.  
  
Aithril: (tears well up in her eyes) /He called me a- a-/  
  
Kita: (gruffly) //A whore? Ah, get over it.//  
  
Aithril: (tears spill over and she bursts into sobs)/ Wahh, I am not!/  
  
Kita: (a little more gently) //Technically, he called ME a whore, even though he doesn't know it.// (Aithril is still crying) (becomes impatient) //Hell, I got you out safe and sound, didn't I? I wouldn't have really gone off with that police man.//  
  
Aithril: (brightens) /Really? OKIES!/  
  
Kita: -_- //Goddamnit, let's get Marik and Bakura over here so they can teach you some curse words. //  
  
Aithril: /But I can already say (whispers) damnit! (louder voice) Isn't that horrible?! And I just said it for no reason at all!/  
  
Kita: -_-U  
  
oos:  
  
Aithril: I hope you liked it! Now please review. (points to tied and gagged Kita in corner) I don't know how long those ropes will hold her.....  
  
Kita: (holds shiny butcher's knife in her teeth)  
  
Aithril: 0_0 How the heck?! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! EVERY READER-NON-REVIEWER FOR THEMSELF! (runs away) 


	4. Talk the Talk

oos:  
  
Aithril: I'm glad so many people like this story. Sadly, this is (almost) how most of my conversations with my yami really are. However, she has yet to seduce policemen.  
  
Kita: Hmmm........  
  
Aithril: (hurridly) Ah, yeah, read and review, bla, bla, don't own yugioh, on with the chappie!  
  
Kita: ^_^ Warning to all hikaris and/or sensitive people: MAJOR CURSING THROUGHOUT WHOLE CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!  
  
Aithril: Don't say we didn't warn you!  
  
Talk the Talk  
  
It was 2:30 in the afternoon, and after two hours of crying, Aithril was ready to move on.  
  
Aithril: Hey, yami, wanna whatcha movie?  
  
Kita emerged in spirit form.  
  
Kita: Hell yeah! What movie?  
  
Aithril: How about.... Bring it On!  
  
Kita: 0_o You'd make me watch that shit?!?  
  
Aithril: (gasps) Don't call Bring it On shi- oopsies I almost said it! I dun wanna sit in the corner! WEEEEEEEEEEEE! (runs into wall)  
  
Kita: -_- Riiiiiiiiiiight, so, how about we watch something a little less.... gay? Like... (casually) The Ring.  
  
Aithril: No.  
  
Kita: The Mummy?  
  
Aithril: No.  
  
Kita: The Mummy 2?  
  
Aithril: No!  
  
Kita: Scream?  
  
Aithril: No!  
  
Kita: I Know What You Did Last Summer?  
  
Aithril: NO!  
  
Kita: Minority Report?  
  
Aithril: NO!  
  
Kita: Terminator?  
  
Aithril: NO!!  
  
Kita: Terminator 2?  
  
Aithril: NO!!  
  
Kita: Frankenstein?  
  
Aithril: NO!!!  
  
Kita: Identity?  
  
Aithril: NO!!!  
  
Kita: Night of the Living Dead?  
  
Aithril: NO!!!!  
  
Kita: Amityville Horror?  
  
Aithril: NO!!!!  
  
Kita: Friday the Thirteenth?  
  
Aithril: NO!!!!!  
  
Kita: Armageddon?  
  
Aithril: NO!!!!!  
  
Kita: Birds?  
  
Aithril: NO!!!!!  
  
Kita: The Fly?  
  
Aithril: NO!!!!!!  
  
Kita: Firestarter?  
  
Aithril: NO!!!!!!  
  
Kita: The Stand?  
  
Aithril: NO!!!!!!  
  
Kita: Christine?  
  
Aithril: NO!!!!!!!  
  
Kita: War of the Worlds?  
  
Aithril: NO!!!!!!!  
  
Kita: Alien?  
  
Aithril: NO!!!!!!!!  
  
Kita: Signs?  
  
Aithril: NO!!!!!!!!  
  
Kita: Halloween?  
  
Aithril: NO!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kita: Psycho?  
  
Aithril: NO!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kita: Scary Movie?  
  
Aithril: NO!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kita: Scary Movie 2?  
  
Aithril: NO!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kita: The Others?  
  
Aithril: NO!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kita: Your baby homevideos?  
  
Aithril: N- hey!  
  
Kita: (sniggers) Hell, we could show Yami some of the ones where your mom changes your diaper!  
  
Aithril: (mortified) NO! Absolutely not! I forbid you!  
  
Kita: You what?  
  
Aithril: I - I forbid you....  
  
Aithril falters as she notices Kita fuming.  
  
Kita: NO ONE! FORBIDS! ME! TO DO! ANYTHING! GOT IT?!?  
  
Aithril: (meekly) Yes, yami.  
  
Kita: Ok, how about you pick a movie?  
  
Aithril: (brightens) Little Mermaid?  
  
Kita: F*** NO!  
  
Aithril: Beauty and the Beast?  
  
Kita: 0_oU ......... how about we try something other than a movie, like -  
  
Doorbell: (cheerfully) DING DONG!  
  
Aithril: I'LL GET IT! (runs to door and opens it. Bakura and Marik are standing there.)  
  
Kita: (rolls eyes and disappears)  
  
Aithril: Hey guys! (hugs) (Bakura ducks and escapes, but Marik is trapped)  
  
Marik: (struggling from her grasp) Ahhh, it burns! It burns! The halo around your head is blinding me!  
  
Aithril: What?!? I have a halo?!? COOLIES! (runs to bathroom to look in mirror)  
  
Bakura: -_-U  
  
Aithril: (returns, looking disappointed) I dun see no halo. Wait a minute......... that was sarcasm, wasn't it?!  
  
Bakura: No shit, sherlocks.  
  
Aithril: (giggles) SILLY BAKURA!  
  
Bakura: 0_0 Great Ra. Bestow your blessings on this deranged mortal and make her evil.  
  
He waits for Ra to take Aithril to hell, but nothing happened.  
  
Bakura: Damn.  
  
Aithril: (covers his mouth, shocked) Oh my goodness!  
  
Marik: Right, that reminds me.... we have to work on your language.  
  
Aithril: YEAH! I can finally learn spanish!  
  
Bakura and Marik: (anime fall)  
  
Marik: Ooooooooooook, not quite...  
  
Bakura: Aithril, we're going to teach you to curse.  
  
Aithril: But I don't want to-  
  
Kita: //You want to be bad, don't you?//  
  
Aithril: /Yes..../  
  
Kita: //If you were bad, you'd answer 'Hell yeah', not just a goody goody proper answer like 'Yes'.//  
  
Aithril: OKIES! (everyone cringes) I think I get it.  
  
Bakura: Good..... so, say hell.  
  
Aithril: He- he- hello! (Took that from Blue's Clues with Yami, go check out Liz's awesome stories!)  
  
Bakura: No, HELL! Or, as Ryou says, BLOODY HELL!  
  
Marik: (sweatdrop) Try again, Aithril.  
  
Aithril: He- he- help?  
  
Marik and Bakura: No.  
  
Aithril: Health?  
  
Marik: Closer.  
  
Bakura: Not damn close enough.  
  
Aithril: He- head?  
  
Marik and Bakura: No.  
  
Aithril: He- heaven?  
  
Bakura: (reels back in horror) NO! That's a curse word to me, but not to anyone else!!!!!!  
  
Marik: -_-U Try again....  
  
Aithril: He- he- help?  
  
Bakura: (losing temper) You already said that!  
  
Marik: Just say 'hell'.  
  
Bakura: Put it in a sentence so that she can say the other words for security.  
  
Aithril: -_- Thanks, Bakura..... what sentence can he- that word be used in?  
  
Marik: 'Go to hell'?  
  
Bakura: Too boring. 'Bloody hell?'  
  
Aithril: Ew....  
  
Marik: 'That hurt like hell' !  
  
Bakura: Perfect.  
  
Aithril: That hurt like.... that hurt like- (is kicked in the shin by Marik) THAT HURT LIKE F****** HELL!  
  
Bakura: 0_0  
  
Marik: 0_0  
  
Ryou: 0_0  
  
Kita: ^_^ Aibou! I knew you could do it! I'm so proud of you!  
  
Aithril: (smiles an itsy bit) I cursed! I did it! YEAH! Let's go watch teletubbies!  
  
Everyone: (animated fall)  
  
Bakura: Wait, wait, you're not done yet!  
  
Aithril: I'm not?  
  
Marik: (catching on) Of course not! There's still, umm......ah, you see, we have yet to teach you-  
  
Bakura: (interupting) other language's curses.  
  
Marik: Correct! Like, umm... (has brain fart and can't think of any)  
  
Bakura: (rolls eyes) Zorba!  
  
Aithril: /I had a friend named that!/  
  
Kita: (snorting) //You did?!? HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!//  
  
Aithril: (ignores her yami) So, what does that mean? In what language?  
  
Bakura: Shit in arabic.  
  
Aithril: Neato! Arabic ship!  
  
Marik: No, not ship. Shit. S-H-I-  
  
Aithril: (ticked) I know how to spell it! Um, arabic shirt?  
  
Bakura: .............................. no. ARABIC SHIT!  
  
Aithril: (relaxes) Oh, arabic shingles.  
  
Marik: NO DAMNIT! ARABIC SHIT! (breathing heavily and twitching)  
  
Aithril: 0_0 Oh.... okies.... arabic shi- shit! (is immensely pleased with self) I did it!  
  
Ryou: (gasps) /I love that song!/  
  
Bakura: //What the f-// (is surprised as he is forcefully shoved out of body by an over-excited Ryou)  
  
Ryou: Lo hicimos!  
  
Aithril: (catching on) (echoes) lo hicimos!  
  
Ryou: We did it!  
  
Aithril: We did it!  
  
Ryou and Aithril: YEAH!  
  
Marik, Bakura, and Kita: 0_oUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU  
  
Bakura: (kicks Ryou out of body and takes control) Sorry, I wasn't paying attention to him and he escaped.  
  
Aithril: ^_^ Hehehe, you know, it almost sounds like you keep him captive in there! Hehehhe. He. Hehe.. He-  
  
She stopped laughing as she realized Bakura and Marik were glaring at her.  
  
Realization hit soon after.  
  
Aithril: Oh.... durg! Of course you do. My yami usually does, too. Hehhee... sorry about that... (starts backing away as Bakura and Marik slowly approach) Guys? Guys?!? GUYS?!?  
  
oos:  
  
Aithril: What are they going to do to me?  
  
Kita: Ew.  
  
Aithril: -_-U Get your mind out of the gutter, yami.  
  
Kita: Gladly.  
  
Aithril: Hope you liked the chapter. ENJOY! :D 


	5. Ahhhhhh! It's Pegasus!

oos: Aithril: Hey, it's been so long since I've written to you guys!  
  
Kita: (jerks upright) That's it!  
  
Aithril: What's it?  
  
Kita: I remembered it's been such a long time since I tortured you.  
  
Aithril: (0_0) Um, could you just....... not?  
  
Kita: Nah, I don't think so. (approaches)  
  
Aithril: (whimpers) Yami! Please! Let me at least write the chapter!  
  
Kita: (thinks for a minute) Well.... I suppose I could wait that long.  
  
Aithril: (-_-) Gee, thanks.  
  
Kita: Damn straight.  
  
Aithril: ............................sure. Anyway, thanks so much to everyone who reviewed! (^_^) Guess what?!? Pegasus enters in this chapter!  
  
Kita: (looks up, alarmed) What?!? You didn't tell me that!  
  
Aithril: Why, did I have to do something or other? (remembers) Oh yeah, he's gayyyyyyyyyyyyyy..... ooh yeah....  
  
Kita: (runs off) I'll get the straight jacket!  
  
Aithril: I'll get the tranquilizers!  
  
Kita: I'll get the viagra!  
  
Aithril: WHAT?!?  
  
Kita: (reads label again) My bad, sorry, meant DE, make that DE-Viagra.  
  
Aithril: (shudders) My virgin ears...... lol....... I forgot to mention that there are numerous Lord of the Rings Quotes in this chapter. If you can name all of them, you get a Ryou plushy cauz he's just so kawaii! ^_^ On with the chappie now! :D  
  
AHHHHHHHHHHH! It's Pegasus!  
  
Last time we left Aithril, she was backing up after practically telling Marik and Bakura to beat her up.  
  
Aithril: (still backing up) Um, guys.... really, I was joking.... he he?  
  
Marik and Bakura: (advance, both knowing that they're just messing with her..... but she doesn't....)  
  
Aithril: (squeaks) Guys? (backs up to wall)  
  
Bakura: (growls) (is mentally cracking up at the same time)  
  
Aithril: (0_o)UUUUUUUU Bakura? Marik?!? Is it too late for a 'sorry'?  
  
Marik: (snarls) Hell yeah! (sniggering mentally)  
  
Aithril: Oh. (gulps) There's no need to get angry.....  
  
Bakura: (whips out knife)  
  
Aithril: Um. Could you please put that away? Sharp and pointy objects make me uncomfortable due to the face that my resident yami is a little too fond of them.  
  
Kita: //I heard that!//  
  
Aithril: /Oh, so now you're talking!/  
  
Bakura: (slowly shakes head while giving an evil grin) No.  
  
Aithril: (0_0) /Yami! Help me!/  
  
Kita: //Let me think about that. (pause) NO!! MWAHAHHAHAHHAA!//  
  
Aithril: /Thanks a lot! Why not?!/  
  
Kita: //Because they're just messing with ya, you baka!//  
  
Aithril: /What?/  
  
Kita: //Screwing around with your head.//  
  
Aithril: /What?!/  
  
Kita: //PRETENDING THAT THEY'RE GOING TO KILL YOU WHEN THEY'RE NOT!//  
  
Aithril: /Oh./ *In that case, I'll play along too.* No! Put that knife away! EEEEEEEEEEEK!  
  
Marik: (thinks she's falling for it) We're going to make cuts about an inch long and slowly drain out your blood........ and then we'll-  
  
Bakura: (enthusiastically) Lick it off the knife!  
  
Aithril:....................................ewwww.  
  
Marik: That is pretty gross, man.  
  
Bakura: What?!? (defensively) I saw it in a movie once!  
  
Aithril: (is grossed out) What movie was that?  
  
Bakura: Lord of the something...... World, maybe?  
  
Marik: (-_-) Lord of the RINGS?!?  
  
Bakura: Yeah, I believe that was it. This ugly guy was trying to kill another guy when another guy came in and fought with the ugly guy and the ugly guy licked the other guy's blood off his sword.  
  
Marik: (0_o) Ok, there were WAY too many 'guys' in that sentence.  
  
Aithril: Actually, I think I understood that.  
  
Bakura: (-_-) Anyway, Aithril, do you want to get started with your lesson today?  
  
Aithril: Yes, my preciiiiiiiiiiiiiioooooooooooouuuuuuuuuussssssssssss.........  
  
Marik: (0_0) O-k. I'll take that as a yes.  
  
Aithril: (^_^)  
  
Marik and Bakura look at each other and nod.  
  
Marik: *Why should we fear to use it? I think she's ready.*  
  
Bakura: Right, we've decided that it's time to put your newly learned skills to the test!  
  
Aithril: (gasps) Really?  
  
Marik: Really.  
  
Aithril: Coolies! (recieves glare from Marik and Bakura) I mean, hell yeah!  
  
Kita: (^_^) //Atta girl!//  
  
Marik: There are two different situations we will judge you on.  
  
Aithril: Ooooooooooh, what are they?  
  
Marik: It's late, and the road is long. Yes, it is time! Let's go!  
  
Bakura: Just follow us. (walks out the door)  
  
Marik: (follows Bakura)  
  
Aithril: (follows Marik) So, what's the test?  
  
Marik: Can't tell ya till we get there.  
  
Aithril: Peases?  
  
Bakura: No.  
  
Aithril: Is it..... to jump over this line in the sidewalk? (jumps over line) I did it!  
  
Bakura: No.  
  
Aithril: Is it..... to find a piece of grass? (finds and picks up piece) (waves in Bakura's face) I did it!  
  
Bakura: (snatches grass and throws away) No!  
  
Aithril: Is it...... to hold my breath as long as I can? (holds breath)  
  
Bakura: NO DAMNIT!  
  
Aithril: (turns red)  
  
Marik: (glances nervously at Aithril) Um..... Bakura?  
  
Aithril: (turns orange)  
  
Bakura: Not now, Marik! (continues walking)  
  
Aithril: (turns yellow)  
  
Marik: (more nervously) It's important Bakura!  
  
Aithril: (turns green)  
  
Bakura: Just shut up already, we're nearly there!  
  
Aithril: (turns blue)  
  
Marik: (panickedly) BAKURA!  
  
Aithril: (turns indigo)  
  
Bakura: What? (glances over shoulder) (0_0) (does a double take) WHAT THE F*CK?!?  
  
Aithril: (turns violet)  
  
Bakura: (0_0)!!!!!!!! Aithril! BREATHE!  
  
Aithril: (gasps) Whew! Thanks (pant) I (pant) was (pant) really (pant) starting (pant) to get (pant) out of (pant) bre- (freezes)  
  
Marik: You mean, out of bre- ohhhhhhhhh nooooooo! ZORBA!  
  
????: That's not my name actually, Marikaboy.....  
  
Bakura: What are you guys staring at........... HOLY SHIT! (sees Pegasus)  
  
Pegasus: Hello, all my sexy friends..... (flutters eyelashes)... and Aithril (gives small smile, then returns a hungry gaze to Bakura and Marik) I know I'm late. I'm sorry. I was delayed.  
  
Marik: (0_0)UUUUUUUUUU  
  
Bakura: (0_0)UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU  
  
Aithril: (0_0)UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU (passes out) (begins to fall to ground.......)  
  
oos:  
  
Aithril: So did you find all the LOTR quotes? Tell me in a review! First one to tell me all of them correctly wins a Ryou plushy!  
  
Kita: (walks up to Aithril) Now you're finished, right?  
  
Aithril: (gulps) No?  
  
Kita: (nods freakily) Yes.... I think you are.  
  
Aithril: (0_0) (runs away screaming) AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kita: MWAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHA! (chases after) (heard in background) GOTCHA!  
  
Aithril: (faint and farway) NOOOOOOOOOOO- (is cut off)  
  
(Silence) 


	6. Situation One

oos:  
  
Aithril: (hobbles in with lotsa gauze wrapped in numerous places) Yeah, I'm ok now, no thanks to all of YOU! My yami kicked the crayfish out of me and you just sat there, reading the lovely chapter, I'M SURE! Oh, and I know Pegasus probably isn't gay, but in this story, he just is. Don't like it? Don't read it.  
  
Kita: (pops up out of nowhere) Crayfish?  
  
Aithril: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (runs into wall)  
  
Kita: Hahahhaha! You didn't do that hard enough! (knocks Aithril's head into wall)  
  
Aithril: (passes out)  
  
Kita: Mwhahahahhahaha! (clears throat)  
  
Audience: 0_0  
  
Kita: Heh.... now that that's done and over with, I suppose I'll have to write the damn chapter. (sighs) Maybe this is why Aithril always tells be to speak before I think. Or was that think before I speak? Hmm.... (wanders off muttering to self)  
  
Aithril: (becomes concious) What?!? Not my chapter! It's strange though, this chapter starts with me fainted too... (sits up) Ahh- (head spins and she goes nighty night............. again)  
  
Kita: (comes back and looks at Aithril) Yup, I think my hikari definitely won't be writing this one! Hehehehhehehe! (takes pen and pencil and starts scribbling madly)  
  
Situation Number One  
  
Marik: (catches Aithril)  
  
Bakura: Um, hello?  
  
Pegasus: Hello, Bakaboy.  
  
Bakura: (0_0) I wasn't talking to you!  
  
Pegasus: (disappointed) Oh... (turns to Marik) Hello.  
  
Marik: (0_0)!!!!!!!!! Uh, hi. Listen, we're on a mission here to teach Aithril to be bad, ok?  
  
Pegasus: (claps hands excitedly) Oooooooh, goody! I love being bad! (hopping up and down)  
  
Marik: (-_-)UUU Surrrrrrrrrrrrre, and that's nice and all, but we were just leaving! Bye! (grabs Aithril, flings over shoulder, and starts running) Come on, Bakura!  
  
Bakura: (two blocks ahead and still running) I wonder if he's figured out yet that I started running away.  
  
Marik: *Thanks for deserting me with this freak, Bakura!* (Aithril's body suddenly jerks) (0_0) WTF?!?  
  
He dropped her abruptly on the pavement before realizing what had happened.  
  
Marik: Kita! This is not the time-  
  
Kita: (stands up and presses a knife against his throat) (oos: Kita: Hey! That's me! ^_^) (growls) Not the time to what?!?  
  
Marik: (slowly reaching into his coat pocket for the Millenium Rod) Um, well, not the time to-  
  
Kita: Leave the Rod out of this! (suddenly notices Pegasus) (0_o) Oh. So that's why Bakura took off......  
  
She suddenly realized why and took the knife away from Marik's throat. The yami began slowly backing away.  
  
Marik: Are we done with the whole 'this is not the time thing' now?  
  
Kita: Yes....  
  
Marik: THEN HAUL BUTT!  
  
They took off down the sidewalk, screaming like ninnys. In fact, they would have missed the spot where Aithril's test was about to take place had Bakura not intervened.  
  
Bakura: Would you look at that? It's Miss All-Powerful-Yami and Mr. Take- the-Pharoah's-Power. Never thought you two would get here. (leaning casually against the side of a building)  
  
Marik: (skids to a stop) (drily) Hi to you too, Bakura.  
  
Kita: Yeah, hi, whatever, my aibou's awake now so I'm leaving you bakas. (goes limp)  
  
Aithril: HI EVERYONE!  
  
Marik: (sweatdrop) Why so cheery?  
  
Aithril: Cauz I'm abou to become BADDDDDDDDDDD! BAD TO THE BONE! (makes sounds that could pass as electric guitars)  
  
Bakura: (0_0) I'll ignore that. Anyway, to be bad, you must be the opposite of good. Makes sense right? Like..... be unhelpful, and harm the person who needs help.  
  
Marik: Correct. Say I was drowning. What would you do, Aithril?  
  
Aithril: Throw you a lifejacket!  
  
Bakura: NOOOOOOO! You would throw rocks on top of him, or tie an anvil to his foot. Try this: There's a house on fire. What do you to be bad?  
  
Aithril: (timidly) Get water to pour on the fire?  
  
Marik: Half right. You do get a liquid to pour on the fire, but it sure as hell ain't water.  
  
Aithril: Hmmm....... orange soda?  
  
Bakura: (slams head into wall) NO! Gasoline!  
  
He and Marik swap high-fives.  
  
Aithril: (0_o)?  
  
Marik: Right! (pause) I don't think you're understanding this fully. Let's try a real life example.  
  
He looks around and sees an old lady waiting to cross the street. Bakura follows his gaze with his eyes and smiles.  
  
Bakura: (points dramatically) There!  
  
Aithril: (looks in opposite direction) Where?  
  
Bakura: (turns head) There!  
  
Aithril: Oh. I know the answer! I know! I know!  
  
Marik: Then show us! (enthusiastically)  
  
Aithril: Okies! (skips over to lady)  
  
Old Lady: Hello, young 'un.  
  
Aithril: Hi, lady! Can I help you cross the street?;  
  
Old Lady: (cackles) Sure!  
  
Marik: (0_0)  
  
Bakura: (0_0)!!!!! No! She's doing it all wrong! (starts to run after lady, but Marik stops him)  
  
Marik: Wait! Maybe it's a ploy to get the old lady to go with her into the busy street!  
  
Bakura: (snickers) Uh-huh. And maybe I'll have all the Millenium Items by 6 PM tonight.  
  
Marik: (pause) Yeah, I guess that's pretty impossible-  
  
WHAM!  
  
Marik: (on ground) Ow..... I meant her harming the old lady, you baka!  
  
Bakura: (not listening) I can't believe it! They're across the street safe and sound! The old lady isn't even hurt!  
  
Marik: (gets up) Damn. I would've tied her up with rope and tossed her in the street for a car to run over.  
  
Bakura: I would've blown her up!  
  
Marik: (-_-) I know...... hey, here comes Aithril.  
  
Aithril: (runs up) DID I PASS?!? DID I PASS?!?  
  
Bakura: No.  
  
Marik: You  
  
Bakura: Are  
  
Marik: The  
  
Bakura: Most  
  
Marik: Unevil  
  
Bakura: Person  
  
Marik: We  
  
Bakura: Know.  
  
Marik: Sucks for you, goody-goody.  
  
Aithril: (lower lip trembling) I don't get it. I could swear I knew the answer! Just give me another chance! PLEASE! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (latches onto Bakura's arm, crying)  
  
Bakura: (shakes off) Ok, ok! You get one more chance. You'll have to pass another test though......  
  
Aithril: I WILL I WILL! JUST TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME!  
  
Marik: For the next test, you will have to-  
  
At that moment, his name was called from someone up the street. Who could it be?  
  
oos:  
  
Kita: (sets pencil down) Phew! I'm never knocking her out before making her write the chapter first again! My hands hurt.  
  
Aithril: (dazed) Yes, mommy, let's play tea party......  
  
Kita: (sweatdrop) She has the craziest dreams.  
  
Aithril: ...................  
  
Kita: I almost forgot! You guys stink! No one found the FIVE! (see the clue? Where is it? FIVE FIVE FIVE!) quotes from Lord of the Rings. It's still possible to get the Ryou plushie, so guess away and review while you're at it! 


	7. Situation Two

oos:  
  
Aithril: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKIES! I'm back after finishing Soul Mates! Yaayy! I've decided to finish this story (there will be two more chapters, not including this one) before finishing my LOTR sequel. After I take a break, I'll finish Baka. Then I have some cool idea thingys coming up, including a sequel to What One Must Do When One Gains An Aibou, and-  
  
Kita: (knocks her out)  
  
Aithril: X_x  
  
Kita: She'll never know, but I've decided to write a story. YES! The mighty and all-powerful ME! Mwhahhahaha!  
  
The story's actually about how I was created, which is more original than you think. Quite a few people have been asking Aithril how I was created. Problem is, she doesn't know. That memory portion was sealed inside me, and she wouldn't dare go into my soul room to seek it out. Anyway, keep an eye out for my story. Aithril's sworn to finish at least this story before going to camp on July 27th, so I'll have until August 8th to post my story. (gives crazed grin) It'll be a tale you'll never forget! MWAHAHAHHAAHAHA! (lightening flashes)  
  
By the way, no one actually named ALL of the quotes, but I found them so I'd get the Ryou plushie. Unfortunatly, it makes me sick, so one of you can have it. (throws plushie out into crowd of reviewers)  
  
The quotes were:  
  
- There's no need to get angry... - Yes, my preciousssssssssss. - Why should we fear to use it? - It's late, and the road is long. Yes, it's time. - I'm sorry. I was delayed.  
  
Aithril: (eyes fluttering) Urgh.....  
  
Kita: Gotta go, but I'll catch you later with my story.  
  
Aithril: (regains senses) Ah, what happened? (sees Kita slinking away) (yells after her) STUPID YAMI!  
  
Kita: (beside her) What was that?  
  
Aithril: (screeches) AHHHHH! EVIL!  
  
Kita: (rolls eyes and walks away)  
  
Aithril: Whew. I hope she didn't torture you guys or something..... (sighs) She's bad that way. Anywayz, on the chappie! MUSH MONKEYS! GAHHHHHH! ^_^  
  
Situation 2  
  
Pegasus: Bakaboy!  
  
Bakura: (0_0;;) Holy shit, is he one of those tracking mutts or something?!?  
  
Marik: Ok.... let's have test number two come later! (runs)  
  
Bakura: (is following him)  
  
Aithril: Hey! Wait for MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (follows them both)  
  
Pegasus: Hmm.... what are they so late for? Oh well.  
  
*Ten Blocks Away...*  
  
Aithril: I.... think... we're far.... enough... away now. Can...... we.... stop........ running?!?  
  
Bakura: (is more fit) We need to erase our scent!  
  
Marik: Well, SORRY, but I don't exactly have some perfume stuffed in my pocket at the moment.  
  
Aithril: Me neither!  
  
Bakura: (-_-;;) Idiots! We just need to go through some water!  
  
Aithril: How do you know this?  
  
Bakura: Ryou watches the Discovery Channel a lot.  
  
Marik: (0_o) I never knew. (looks around) It's too bad it hasn't rained in weeks!  
  
Sure enough, the streets surrounding them were empty of a raindrop, let alone a puddle.  
  
Marik: I have a feeling the heavens aren't going to open up to us, either. We're on a mission to teach someone good to be bad, for Ra's sake!  
  
Aithril: (happily watching butterfly go by)  
  
Bakura: Who says we need to depend on nature? We have the shadow realm at our disposal! Let's just call on some rain!  
  
Marik: ......................................... can we do that?  
  
Bakura: Of course! We're almighty Millenium Item Bearers! (pause) Honestly, I don't know.  
  
Marik: We can try. What's the worst that could possibly happen?  
  
Aithril: (opens mouth)  
  
Marik: Not a world, Aithril, or we're not teaching you at all.  
  
Aithril: (closes mouth)  
  
Bakura: Let's start.  
  
Marik: But what do we do?  
  
Bakura: (snaps) How should I know?!? I've never tried to make it rain! (waves arms wildly) Just CONCENTRATE DAMNIT!  
  
Marik: (unruffled) Fine.  
  
Marik and Bakura closed their eyes and began to 'concentrate'  
  
Bakura: 'I wonder if this will work..... I want a peanut butter sandwhich....'  
  
Marik: 'Can't he see that it's not working? Hey, where's Aithril going?'  
  
Aithril: (sees the butterfly again) Pretty.... (follows)  
  
Marik: (opens eyes and sees the tomb robber still 'concentrating') 'I'll just leave him to it... now where did our student go?' (tiptoes away)  
  
Aithril: (skips by) Hi Marik!  
  
Marik: (-_-;;) Hi. While Bakura's covering our tracks, want to take that test that was delayed?  
  
Aithril: YAYY! YEAH! I'M GONNA BE BAD! COOLILICIOUS!  
  
Marik: (is getting used to her insane outbursts) Ok. 'Hmmm... what can the test be?'  
  
Puppy: BARK! (runs up to Marik)  
  
Marik: Perfect!  
  
Aithril: (looking at butterfly still)  
  
Marik: (makes a grab for puppy)  
  
Puppy: Grrrr.. BARK BARK! (bites on arm)  
  
Marik: AHHHHH! YOU F*CKING DOG!  
  
Aithril: Ewww!  
  
Marik: Not literally!  
  
Puppy: (smiles and wags tail) Bark!  
  
Aithril: Awww, he's so cute! Come here puppy! (grins)  
  
Puppy: (wagging tail) Bark bark! (jumps into her arms)  
  
Marik: (-_-) That was the test subject, you moron!  
  
Aithril: But I wuv him! NO! I won't let you hurt him!  
  
Puppy: Bark bark bark! (agreeing)  
  
Marik: Let go of the damn dog!  
  
Aithril: NO! He's MY puppy!  
  
Marik: YES!  
  
Aithril: NO!  
  
Marik: YES!  
  
Aithril: NO!  
  
Mairk: Y- oof! (is hit by jumping puppy)  
  
Puppy: BARK BARK BARK! BARK BARK BARK! (Translation: DIE SUCKER! HAHAHA!)  
  
Marik: Grrrr....  
  
Aithril: Marik! You sound like the puppy!  
  
Marik: (twitches) I do NOT sound like the puppy!  
  
Puppy: Bark bark bark! (yes you do!)  
  
Aithril: (pulls out red ball from her left pocket) Fetch puppy! (throws along sidewalk)  
  
Puppy: Bark bark! (chases after ball) (bats into street)  
  
Aithril: Don't go in the street, puppy! It's not sa-  
  
Bus: HONK HONK!  
  
Puppy: (0_o!) BARK BARK BA- (is silenced)  
  
Remnants of Puppy: (squished and flattened into puppy pancake)  
  
Truck: (drives on)  
  
Aithril: (0_0)  
  
Marik: (^_^) SCORE AITHRIL! You killed the puppy! Hahaha!  
  
Kita: //HAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHA!//  
  
Aithril: (0_0)........................(T_T)  
  
Marik: (sees her crying) It wasn't that bad. It didn't even have a chance to cry or anything.  
  
?????: She didn't actually kill it.  
  
Marik: Gah! (jumps a foot in the air) (turns around) Bakura! You saw it?  
  
Bakura: Yeah. I didn't manage to conjure up any thunderstorms though.  
  
Marik: Shame. What do you mean she didn't actually kill it?  
  
Bakura: She threw the ball on the sidewalk and the puppy pushed it into the street, signing it's own death warrant.  
  
Marik: Crap.... and I thought our work was done here.  
  
Bakura: I doubt that will be happening for a while... (glances at Aithril)  
  
Aithril: (still crying)  
  
Marik: (sigh) It would seem that way.  
  
oos:  
  
Aithril: Heh, crappy ending I know. The next chapter will be out very soon after this is posted, like within a day or so. 


	8. Sugar High 0o

oos:  
  
Aithril: Hey! I'm back so soon! ^_^ I think the last chapter will be out soon after this, because I seem to be on a writing spree! lol, cya soon, R&R  
  
The Sugar Disaster  
  
**At Aithril's House**  
  
Bakura opens the door and slams it behind him with his foot. His arms are full of grocery bags.  
  
Bakura: (calling) I'm back!  
  
Marik: Gee, I couldn't tell!  
  
Bakura: Don't get your boxers in a bunch! You're just mad because I made you stay here with Aithril.  
  
Aithril: (laying on couch) (looks like she's dead)  
  
Bakura: Not that that's a huge responsibility or anything.... (-_-;;) She looks like a person I poisoned once.  
  
Marik: She looks like she has a hangover.  
  
Bakura: Anyway, I brought the chocolate ice cream, celery, creamcheese, and..... 'Do I dare say it?'  
  
Marik: (impatiently) What?   
  
Bakura: (mouths) Pixie Sticks.  
  
Marik: What?!? I can't lip-read!  
  
Bakura: (whispers) Pixie Sticks.  
  
Marik: WHAT?!?  
  
Bakura: (still whispering, but a fraction louder) Pixie Sticks!  
  
Aithril: (twitches but they don't notice)  
  
Marik: WHAT?!?  
  
Bakura: (shouts) PIXIE STICKS RA DAMNIT!  
  
Aithril: (sits bolt-upright)  
  
Marik: (shrieks and falls off the couch)  
  
Aithril: Sugar? WHERE?!? GIVE IT TO ME!  
  
Bakura: 0_0  
  
Ryou: 0_o  
  
Kita: (waking up in her soul room) I wonder if Aithril's over that puppy yet....  
  
Marik: (points to a grocery bag with shaking fingers) 0_0  
  
Aithril: (gives war cry) OWOWOWOOWOWOOWOWOWOWOOWOWOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Marik: (screams like a girl) AHH! HIDE!  
  
Bakura: (is already hidden) (whispers) Every man for himself!  
  
Kita: 0_0 What the-  
  
AithriL: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (jumps off the couch) MY SUGAR!  
  
Bag: 0_o  
  
Aithril: GAHHHHH! (rips open bag)  
  
Bag: X_X (splits)  
  
Pixie Sticks: (shine with light)  
  
Bakura: (thinks) 'They didn't do that when I picked them out!'  
  
Aithril: *_* Pixie Sticks! (drools)  
  
Ryou: (watching) /Ew.../  
  
Aithril: (delicately slices one open)  
  
Kita: (thinks) 'Why? Why me? Why did I have to be Aithril's yami? Why not Ryou's?'  
  
Aithril: (downs the pixie stick in one gulp)  
  
Bakura: Shit! That's impressive.  
  
Aithril: (turns toward sound) NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE THESE! THEY'RE MINEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! ALL MINEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!  
  
Bakura: 0_o 'I think that's my cue to shut up.....'  
  
Aithril: (eats four more pixie sticks)  
  
Marik: (creeps over to Bakura) (whispers) How do we stop her?  
  
Kita: (appears in spirit form next to him) You can't.  
  
Marik: (starts to yell, but Bakura clamps a hand over his mouth)   
  
Bakura: (hisses quietly) Aw, hell no!  
  
Kita: (smiling in amusement) Heh, she's unstoppable now. The only thing you can do now is wait out the storm.   
  
Marik: (quietly) Damn! How many pixie sticks did you buy, Bakura?!?  
  
Bakura: (clears throat) Um, ten.  
  
Kita: -_-;; Idiot. It could be hours now before she's sane enough to walk straight!  
  
Bakura: Ah. Perhaps I shouldn't have bought so many.  
  
Marik: (rolling eyes) No shit, sherlocks!  
  
Aithril: (downs ninth pixie stick) WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
  
Kita: (grimly) She's starting to get hyper!  
  
Bakura: (frantically) Crap! What do we do?  
  
Kita: Do you just so happen to have a bomb shelter?  
  
Marik and Bakura: No.  
  
Kita: (laughing manically) You're doomed ! MWHAHAHAHAHHAHHA! (disappears to wait out Aithril's hyper mood in her soul room) (locks door)  
  
Aithril: (eats the last pixie stick) YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (shoots straight up and bursts through the roof)  
  
Marik: 0_0  
  
Bakura: 0_0  
  
Marik: Maybe she is evil afterall.  
  
Bakura: Nah, she's just hyper. (knowingly) When hikaris are hyper, they don't know what they're doing.  
  
Marik: 0_o And you know this how?  
  
Bakura: Uh, I have one, duh.  
  
Marik: (imitating him) Well, maybe we should trail her, duh.  
  
Bakura: (getting irritated) That's a good idea, duh.  
  
Marik: (starts off) Let's go, duh.  
  
Bakura: Ok! Duh!  
  
Marik: (thinking) ' Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh! (takes breath)   
  
Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh duh duh duh duh! There beat that!'  
  
Bakura: (thinking) 'Duh to infinity!'  
  
**Four hours later**  
  
Marik: Where the hell is she?!?  
  
Bakura: Wait! What's that?!?  
  
The pair spot police cars gathering around the enterance to the local zoo.  
  
Marik: 0_0 Do you think-?  
  
Bakura: She wouldn't-?  
  
Marik and Bakura (in unison): Let's go!  
  
Aithril: (comes riding out on the back of a giraffe) YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAW!  
  
Marik: 0_0 WTF?!?  
  
Bakura: Ahh! o_o (gets runnover by zebras! ^_^)  
  
Marik: Bak- (gets runnover by an elephant) X_X  
  
Aithril: WEEEEEEEEEEEEE (kicks giraffe)  
  
Giraffe: (makes giraffe sound) MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Aithril: ^_^ WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
  
Antelope bound by Marik, who is recovering from being squashed. Hippos follow them, then monkeys and lions.  
  
Bakura: (stands up) Ow..... LIONS?!? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Marik: What? Lions? Where? (still dazed)  
  
Bakura: (grabs Marik) HAUL BUTT!  
  
Marik: Why?  
  
Bakura: (terrified) They tried to feed me to those beasts when I was a tomb robber! BASTARDS!  
  
Marik: -_-;;  
  
Lion: ROAR!   
  
Marik: -_-.......0_o..... 0_0! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Bakura: (agreeing) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Zebras start running by again.  
  
Bakura: DUH!  
  
Marik: (yells over stampeding noises) I thought we finished that contest! I won!  
  
Bakura: -_-;; You fool! I won! But that's not what I meant! Climb on the zebras!  
  
Marik: 0_o WHY?!?  
  
Bakura: For escape, duh!  
  
Marik: I've never even ridden a F*CKING HORSE DUH!  
  
Bakura: I don't give a shit, DUH!  
  
Marik: Well- (can't think of anything) DUH!  
  
Bakura: DUH!  
  
Marik: DUHHHHH! (climbs on a zebra) (passes Bakura) HAHAHA!  
  
Bakura: (growls) Grr! (hangs onto his own zebra) AHHHHHHHHHHH! Hey this is COOL! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! (passes Marik)  
  
Marik: 0_0! Hey! You can't win! (kicks zebra lightly to go faster) (passes him) Mwahahhahaahaha!  
  
Bakura: Yes I can! (leans forward over zebra's neck like a jockey) (zebra runs faster and passes Marik again)  
  
Marik: No, you- HEY! (catchs up to Aithril) AITHRIL! Get OFF the GIRAFFE!  
  
Aithril: (blissfully unaware) What giraffe?  
  
Bakura: (yelling) The one you're FRIGGIN RIDING!  
  
Aithril: STUPID! This isn't a giraffe! This is a COW!  
  
Giraffe: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
Marik: Ok.... GET OFF THE COW!  
  
Bakura: Baka! It's not a cow! It's a giraffe! They had a baby one in Egypt once!  
  
Marik: (hisses at him) SHUT UP! If she thinks it's a cow, then it's cow! HINT HINT!  
  
Bakura: (realization) Oh......  
  
Aithril: Ok! I'm getting off! (jumps on top of Marik) WHEEEEEE!  
  
Bakura: HAHAHAHHA!  
  
Marik: X_x  
  
Police: (pull up in front of them) You there! Stop!  
  
Bakura: 0_o! Shit!  
  
*15 minutes later*  
  
Marik: Whew! I think we lost them!  
  
Aithril: (hanging over his shoulder, snoring)  
  
Bakura: Good thing you had the Rod!  
  
Marik: (grins and pets) My precioussssssssssss  
  
Bakura: (ignores) Let's get her back to her house. If she's going to have a hangover, I don't want her at my house.  
  
Marik: Me neither. (as an afterthought) Duh.  
  
Bakura: Duh.  
  
Marik: Duh.  
  
Bakura: Duh  
  
Marik: .....................................(whispers) Duh.  
  
oos: Heh, hoped you like it. Next chapter comes soon! 


	9. Situation Three: The Last and Final Test

oos:  
  
Aithril: I hope you liked the last chapter! Here is the finallie (sp? heh), the last chapter, the ending, el fin! Enjoy and I'll see you in my other stories! ^_^ And- OOF!  
  
Kita: (stands over her holding a baseball bat)  
  
Audiance: 0_0  
  
Aithril: X_x  
  
Kita: It sounds as if I won't be writing my story when my hikari's away at camp afterall... (dramatic sigh)  
  
Audiance: ..... YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!  
  
Kita: (glares)  
  
Audiance: (meekly) Awww...........  
  
Kita: (beams) I know. It majorly sucks. I suppose you'll all just have to suffer until I find the time to post it. If I catch a single mortal who reveals my origin to Aithril, their intestines will be stretched from here to Africa. (pause) Trust me, that's far away from where I am right now. Did I mention that the person will be alive to feel their innards being pulled? (innocent smile)  
  
Audiance: 0_o;;  
  
Kita: No? Ok. They will be. (glare) Just remember..... (kicks Aithril)  
  
Aithril: (wakes up) Ow!  
  
Kita: Write the damn chapter, aibou!  
  
Aithril: (salutes) YESSIR! (recieves glare) Erm, I mean MA'AM! YES MA'AM!  
  
Situation 3 - The Last and Final Test  
  
Aithril wakes up in the morning to find herself in her own bed.  
  
Aithril: Huh? (blinks owlishly)  
  
Kita: //You stupid hikari!//  
  
Aithril: (cringing) /Not so loud! I have a huge headache!/  
  
Kita: -_-;; //That wasn't loud!//  
  
Aithril: (winces) /Ow!/  
  
Kita: (mental sigh) (comes out in spirit form) Do you remember any of yesterday?  
  
Aithril: (blinks) Um.... that's a strange question.  
  
Kita: DO YOU?!?  
  
Aithril: No! (covers ears)  
  
Kita: (looks extremely pleased with herself) I've done my job well, then.  
  
Aithril: (blankly) What?  
  
Kita: I deleted that part of your memory, stupid!  
  
Aithril: Why? WHAT HAPPENED?!?  
  
Kita: Now who's being loud?!?  
  
Aithril: What happened?!? (searches her mind and finds brief image) Did it have something to do with a.... giraffe?  
  
Kita: 0_o! WHAT?!? Go back to sleep!  
  
Aithril: (backs away) Oh no! I'm not letting you back into my soul room to erase more! You can just stay there while I-  
  
Bakura: (standing in doorway) ('taps' on head with sledgehammer)  
  
Aithril: Uh..... (sinks to floor)  
  
Marik: (picks up limp body) (puts on bed)  
  
Bakura: (snickering) You didn't do your job so well afterall, Kita.  
  
Kita: (next to his face) Sorry? I didn't catch that.... (pressing a knife against his throat)  
  
Marik: (hiding smirk behind his hand)  
  
Bakura: 0_o Uh...I forget!  
  
Kita: (relaxes) Good..... (turns to other) Marik....  
  
Marik: (gulps) Y-yes?  
  
Kita: (calmly) How did you get ahold of your Millenium Rod again? Last I knew, it was stashed safely in my soul room.  
  
Marik: Ummmm......  
  
Bakura: (turns away, whistling)  
  
Kita: (dangerously) Bakura..... you and your Millenium Ring helped, right?  
  
Bakura: (backing away) No! Where would you get that idea?!?  
  
Kita: Oh, nowhere in particular, just the RING'S TRADEMARK in MY SOUL ROOM!  
  
Bakura: (cringing) Oh. Yeah, there's that.  
  
Kita: Do I have to take your Millenium Item away from you, too?!?  
  
Bakura: (clutching Ring) NO! Leave me alone! I won't help Marik ever again!  
  
Marik: Hey!  
  
Bakura: (elbows)  
  
Marik: I mean, oh. Ok!  
  
Kita: (rolling eyes) Hand over the Rod, Marik.  
  
Marik: (petting) NO! NEVER!  
  
Kita: Fine, I'll just have to take it by force.  
  
Marik: 0_0 NO! HERE! HAVE IT! (holds out Millenium Item)  
  
Kita: (snatches) (disappears into Aithril's mind)  
  
Marik: T_T  
  
Bakura: It's amazing how she does that.....  
  
Marik: Does what?  
  
Bakura: Intimidates us, duh!  
  
Marik: Don't you start that again!  
  
Bakura: Start what again?  
  
Marik: The duhs, duh!  
  
Bakura: (grinding teeth) You're doing it now! DUH!  
  
Marik: SO ARE YOU! DUH!  
  
Aithril: (sits up) Hello!  
  
Marik and Bakura: AHHH! (jump)  
  
Bakura: (recovering) Aithril. We didn't know you'd be..... waking up so soon.  
  
Aithril: (furrowing brow) I forget. Did I take the test for the second time yesterday?  
  
Marik: Um, ....... yes?  
  
Bakura: You, uh, failed it.  
  
Aithril: (disappointed) Drat.  
  
Marik: Don't worry, we have another.  
  
Aithril: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! (skips into bathroom) I gotta pee before we start!  
  
Bakura: (hitting head against wall)  
  
Marik: (wondering) How can she remain so innocent after living with her yami and being TAUGHT to be evil by us.  
  
Bakura: Damned if I know. Oh yeah, and did you know it rained last night?  
  
Marik: 0_o WHAT?!? Your stupid meditation thing worked anyway! Just a little TOO LATE!  
  
Aithril: (comes back) WEEEEEEEEEEEE! Let's go!  
  
Marik: (thinks fast) It's out in the city.... uh, somewhere. So let's go.  
  
The trio started walking.  
  
Bakura: (sends thoughts using Ring) 'It is?'  
  
Marik: (sends back) 'Yeah! What is it?'  
  
Bakura: -_-;; 'I have no f*cking idea! Make something up!'  
  
Mairk: 'You make something up!'  
  
Bakura: 'It's your turn, duh.'  
  
Marik: 'No, it's not! I thought up the puppy thing, duh!'  
  
Bakura: 'Stop with the duh's!'  
  
Marik: DUH!  
  
Aithril: (stops) What?  
  
Bakura: Uh, nothing. Look, we're here!  
  
Marik: 'We are?'  
  
Bakura: 'Yes! Do you see what I see?'  
  
Marik: '......................... yes?'  
  
Bakura: 'Baka! Look!'  
  
Marik looks up to see a gas station. Right across the street is a neighborhood.  
  
Marik: 'I still don't see it!'  
  
Aithril: So what do I do?  
  
Bakura: Ok. I'll explain this to MARIK as well. (glares) Steal that extra can of gasoline that's sitting next to the first pump on the left, run over to the house and pour it on the ground right next to the house. Then, drop this match (hands her one) into the puddle of gasoline.  
  
Aithril: (cocks head) Isn't that dangerous?  
  
Marik: (lets out exasperated sound)  
  
Bakura: (impatiently) Yes, but that's the point. Now, you go ahead and do that, and we'll be watching from back here so we don't interfere.  
  
Aithril: Okies! (runs off)  
  
Marik: (looks at the tomb robber in approval) That was brilliant.  
  
Bakura: (smugly) I know.  
  
They hide behind some bushes near the gas station.  
  
Marik: (wiggling for space) Move your elbow! It's in my way!  
  
Bakura: Only if you'll move your ASS! It's in MY way!  
  
By the time they are situated, Aithril has already grabbed the container and run across the street to the house.  
  
Marik: (is astonished) I think she actually might do it.  
  
Bakura: (grimly) Let's hope so. I'm giving up if she backs out this time.  
  
Aithril: (pours liquid in a puddle next to the house) (strikes match and drops it in puddle)  
  
Marik: 0_o! HOLY F*CKING RA! SHE DID IT!  
  
Bakura: I didn't think she had it in her....... wait a minute! Why isn't the house going up in flames? In fact, why aren't there any flames at all?!?  
  
Marik: How could she have screwed that up! We were watching her the whole damn time!  
  
Aithril: (comes trotting back, looking puzzled) I did it! But it didn't work!  
  
Bakura: Ok, what did you do?  
  
Aithril: (holding up her hands) I just did what you told me to! I stole that extra can of gasoline that's sitting next to the first pump on the right, ran over to the house and poured it on the ground right next to it. Then, I dropped the match into the puddle of gasoline.  
  
Bakura: (thinks about that) 0_0 OH MY FRICKIN RA!  
  
Marik: What? It sounded perfectly fine to me!  
  
Bakura: Aithril! It was the first pump on the LEFT! LEFT! Don't you know your lefts and rights?  
  
Aithril: Yes! (points to right) This is my left! (points to left) And this is my right!  
  
Marik: (whimpers) It must have been water, so when she dropped the match in, it was extinguished almost immediately.  
  
Bakura: (throws up hands) THAT'S IT! I QUIT!  
  
Aithril: (lip trembling) I'm sorry! Can't I try again?  
  
Marik: Nah. (pats her on the back) I think you're just not destined to be evil.  
  
Aithril: But- but-  
  
Bakura: (more kindly) Look, if it helps, you're the most innocent and GOODEST person I know.  
  
Aithril: T_T  
  
Marik: Stupid! You made her cry!  
  
Bakura: So?!? I'm evil, duh!  
  
Marik: OH NO NO NO NO! Don't you start that again! DUH!  
  
Bakura: You're doing it too!  
  
Aithril: (sits down on ground, still T_T)  
  
Kita: (appears in spirit form) MWHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHA!  
  
Marik and Bakura: What?  
  
Aithril: (sniffing) Yeah, what?  
  
Kita: YOU OWE ME FIFTY BUCKS!  
  
Marik: 0_0  
  
Bakura: 0_o What the-  
  
Aithril: T_T  
  
oos:  
  
Aithril: Not the happiest ending for me... but please review and tell me what you think! (sighs) I'll never be bad.  
  
Kita: Nope.  
  
Aithril: Never ever.  
  
Kita: (cheerfully) Ever never.  
  
Aithril: Oh well... buh bye! ^_^  
  
Kita: -_-;; 


End file.
